Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Very Relevant Post

So I posted my first blog entry and was immediately plagued with anxiety: What if I’ve now offended French people with my Hachette joke and they all boycott LeMoyne House? (Because we all know what a big market France is for English-language books.) And what if by admitting to the world I’m practically a one-woman publisher they now think anything I produce will be substandard?

So here is a little damage control: I did not actually proof my book all on my own. I am fortunate enough to possess an older sister who corrects other people’s grammar as a hobby. (This is not necessarily a hobby that endears one to others, unless one happens to have a younger sister who needs her manuscript copy-edited.) So I convinced her to help me out, because all small business owners know that unpaid labor is the best kind of labor there is.

WARNING: The following contains highly technical information. If you are not a computer geek, please follow the flow chart…oh, wait, you can’t do that if you’re not a computer geek. Well, never mind.

I hate Adobe. Okay, that’s not too technical. All the salivating computer geeks are now bored with my blog and are headed back to their white papers. (And now my book will be boycotted by French people and Adobe Developers.) But it really defies comprehension that such an illogical, awkward-to-use software became the industry standard in the design world. If anyone has ever had to get a file ready for printing they will understand where I’m coming from. (So now I’m connecting with like, 1 person out of the 8 or so who actually read this blog. Way to be relevant, Suzy. You go, girl.) I know it’s cool to hate Microsoft because they’re the big, bad software giant, but at least they’ve got decent documentation and their software is fairly user-friendly. But Adobe is like: “Let’s hide half our settings in an obscure place, like a printer properties box, and then let’s put the other half in a different program, and then we’ll make those settings counteract the first ones. And we’ll give all the settings names that don’t make any sense, like ‘Save the PDF settings in the Adobe PDF.’ We’ll charge users an exorbitant amount for our overly-complicated software, provide documentation that never answers their questions, and watch in glee as they all slit their wrists in frustration.” (Maniacal laughter follows.)

DISCLAIMER - Any personal opinions expressed in this blog are not intended to offend the reader and are in no way representative of LeMoyne House or its authors. Herewith, aforesaid, forementioned, party of the first part, legalese, etc. etc. etc

That sounds official, right?

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